| Monday, October 30, 2006 |
| It would be nice to feel numb for a few days. Feels like every day is getting a little more difficult to live through nowadays. Oh well, probably me being selfish again... |
| Jin Han 10:56 PM |
| Monday, October 23, 2006 |
|
'Zoning out' seems to be a quotidian lifestyle for me these days. Rather than traipsing through the woven tapestries that are my economics and chemistry notes, my mind transgresses the boundaries between reality and reverie. Flung into a world where every desire is fulfilled, every wish is granted. In this world, life is nothing short of euphoric. Yet in the innumerable scenarios conjured up by thought processes, there is only one constant - her. Countless possibilities are fabricated to suit different situations. For example, descending a flight of stairs, we unexpectedly run into each other, exchange greetings and delve into a conversation that picques our interests so much so that we find ourselves hastening to our next class, at the same time wondering if we will chance upon each other again. Yes, daydreaming of such occassions does pass the time indeed. At some point I am resuscitated from this daze and dragged back down to the real world, where opportunities are rare commodities, life is hard and unjust, and the mere thought of getting what you want is but a fleeting moment of weakness. In the real world, we would see each other, exchange greetings and tread off in opposite directions. There was no time for conversations, no time for small talk, or any manner of talk for that matter. That feeling of jubilance when you see the person you like, even if it is for only a moment? That doesn't happen to me. Contrarily, it only nourishes my despondence. The fact that we see so little of each other constantly leads me to ponder why I am so intrigued by her in the first place. Sigh...more confusion... |
| Jin Han 11:15 PM |
| Wednesday, October 18, 2006 |
|
Blink. Blink blink blink. Blink blink blink blink blink. That was what the modem was doing for the past few days. Blinking incessantly in 20 minute intervals for two days. Rather than cooncentrating on more constructrive endeavours (Economics, Chemistry, Physics, Television...), I could not resist the urge to scrutinise the machine with great interest. There's just nothing like watching your modem getting an unstable signal for a few minutes then reverting back to its usual state, and getting that unstable signal again a few seconds later (insert profanities here). Yessiree, interesting indeed. Blink. Blink blink blink. Blink blink blink blink blink. |
| Jin Han 7:29 PM |
| Monday, October 16, 2006 |
| I know i shouldn't but I keep thinking about her. Unheard of? Yes. Absurd? Definitely. Ridiculous? Probably. But do I care about all that? Can't answer that at the moment. The brain says yes but the heart is adamant, defiant even. |
| Jin Han 11:27 PM |
| Thursday, October 12, 2006 |
| Sometimes it just sucks when you find yourself unable to forget the past. No matter how hard you try there would always be something to remind you of events long past - a similar gait, a familiar hairstyle, an analogous fashion sense... It takes just a little more than 5 seconds for it to trigger a reaction in your brain, jump-starting buried memories so fast you'd wonder how it is possible that we only use less than 10% of our brains. From the very first time you see her in something other than a school uniform to the moment your heart shattered into billions of pieces, it runs through your head over and over again until you realise, 'what the f*** am I doing??'. Slapping your forehead a couple of times, you proceed to get back to work, but yet again you are inundated by the urge to retrospect. You then sink into your seat and reflect on everything that lead to this point, after which the word 'pathetic' seems to appear on your forehead in blindingly bright neon, because that's what you are... Pathetic. |
| Jin Han 5:09 PM |
| Monday, October 09, 2006 |
|
infatuation is like morphine: relieves pain in small doses,but kills when used in excess. more on that later. |
| Jin Han 4:53 PM |
| Friday, October 06, 2006 |
|
I hardly know you. I have not seen the real you. I have not even had a real conversation with you, yet I can't stop thinking about you. What is wrong with this picture? the body erects the foundations of attraction; the mind simply reinforces it. |
| Jin Han 9:09 PM |
| Wednesday, October 04, 2006 |
|
It is a wonder how life surprises you. The minute you close one door, a gale blows another door off its hinges before you can even blink. A spur of the moment, spontaneous, unexpected attraction. That's all I can say. Simply... uncalled for. Currently listening to: 1. Breaking Benjamin - Phobia 2. Keane - Hopes and Fears |
| Jin Han 4:39 PM |
| profile |
|
Jin loves brownies, cookies and cake. Jin has never been anywhere further than Australia. Jin could never stop being a sadistic, sarcastic meanie. Jin is also the opposite of everything said one line up when the need arises. Jin would rather have a desktop rather than a laptop. Jin has an obsessive, compulsive need to ramble, blabber and regurgitate all manner of nonsense. Jin hates being ignored by the people he loves. Jin hates being alone most of the time. Jin hates reflecting about his actions. It's taxing. Jin has a habit of thinking too much. Jin often doesn't see the glass as half-empty or half-full.He just sees the glass. To some, Jin is weird; to others, Jin is even weirder. Jin wants nothing more than to be happy. Rich would be a big plus though. Jin is pretty tired of referring himself in the third person's perspective. |
| dislikes |
|
Being apart from my sayang. Seeing animals get tortured. Seeing people get hurt. Losing what's important to me. Sluggish internet connections. Bittergourds and zombies. |
| Links |
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Caleb Chongshen Darell Jac Kee Kathleen/Kelvin Krystle Li En Li Ying Mei Xin Nico Pin Pin Shu Ling Sze May Yan Chyi Zcui |
| Credits |
| This layout was originally created by undyinglove-haha, later modified by Yours Truly. Other credits go to X X and X Works best on   |