Wednesday, January 25, 2006

The Keys to Your Heart You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. What Are The Keys To Your Heart? ohh shiaatt...that is so damn true!!even if it's fake it's so accurate!

Jin Han 12:04 AM

Your Heart Is Pink In relationships, you like to play innocent - even though you aren't. Each time you fall in love, it's like falling for the first time. Your flirting style: Coy Your lucky first date: Picnic in the park Your dream lover: Is both caring and dominant What you bring to relationships: Romance What Color Heart Do You Have?

Jin Han 12:02 AM

Sunday, January 22, 2006

My eyes opened up to the noisome rings of the alarm clock.I climbed off the bed and darted towards its wooden perch,shutting it off,then proceeding back to my salvation.Ah,the silky sheets of that worn,old comforter;the flocculent texture of my pillow.It was only about 10 minutes later that I realised,I had to get up.Glancing drowsily at my watch,"Half past 7,"I thought.Taking a few moments to register what just went through my optic nerves,I reluctantly threw myself off the bed and headed to the bathroom to freshen up.Today was in fact,my first day at driving school.And where all future drivers began,I too followed in their footsteps by venturing off into the Safety Driving School next to Armada Hotel for a seminar on "Kurikulum Pendidikan Pemandu".From what I heard from almost the entire world,the seminars held were always rife with prosaic speeches and harangue from unknown teachers from an unknown background.Unfortunately one was not allowed to skip this particular seminar for reasons unknown,probably a way to make more money off of helpless student drivers like me.I was dropped off at the driving school at around 8.45am and straightaway was ushered to a counter where I presented my application form and a copy of my identification card,not knowing what I was to be doing or why I was doing it. The lady behind the counter swiped the form from my hands and urged me to put my thumb on some scanning contraption.I servilely obeyed and pressed my thumb against the transparent device that she was holding.After a minute she presented me with a blank piece of plastic that had the same gilded layering as the modern Malaysian identity card.Staring at her blankly,I walked off and was again invited into a classroom just a few steps down the corridor.The room was actually nothing more than a cabin made of thin asbestos walls,supported by a lone pillar in the middle of the room.An indescribable trepidation grew inside me as I ambled further down the room to get a seat that was reasonably far enough from the lecturer's table.A fair amount of foreigners attended the seminar,some hailing from countries such as Australia,Canada,the United States,India and the Phillipines.When everyone was settled the lecturer stepped in,cracking some pretty facetious jokes that were not at all amusing or particularly entertaining.He was garrulous to the bone,always talking and talking and talking.As the seminar wore on he started sharing his own life experiences with us,clearly trying his best to keep the seminar from becoming a nonsensical waste of time.It might have worked if I was ten but at that point he was 8 years too late. 5 agonising hours later the seminar finally came to an end.A dark man came into the room to take our attendance,calling each of our names one by one whilst we responded in kind.We were later allowed to leave the room and had to line up at the counter again.This time they asked us for our blank plastic cards and slotted it into the card reader,again urging us to put our thumbs on the scanner.Apparently that was one of their fool-proof methods of ensuring that we actually sat through the entire seminar.We then scheduled our exam dates and that was it.I could not have thought of a better way to waste my precious time on a Sunday,the end of the weekend.Tomorrow will be the beginning of a new week and more headaches are sure to come.Until then.

Jin Han 5:33 PM

Saturday, January 21, 2006

-deleted- -deleted-

Jin Han 7:40 PM

Friday, January 20, 2006

You're Odysseus. You've had a trying time of life, but you've got a true and faithful love waiting for you back home -- if you could only get there. It seems like life is throwing road block after road block in your path to keep you from your love. Sometimes it's hard to stay optimistic, but you're clever and crafty enough to get yourself out of hot water no matter how many times the fates throw you in. What Character from Literature Are You? brought to you by Quizilla

Jin Han 3:43 PM

Thursday, January 19, 2006

My Economics teacher mentioned that the book entitled Economics (3rd Edition) by Alain Anderton was a really worthwhile buy, and that it had colour pictures inside. Me being the stupid person I am went to get it, taking his word for it all the way. After all, he is our economics teacher. So I went searching here and there but every University Bookstore seemed to be out of stock. Finally my mom called MPH Mid Valley and they said that they had one last book for sale. I was ecstastic and couldn't wait to marvel at the really pretty cover and pretty pages that lay inside. After waiting and agonising 2 hours I got my wish and tore off the plastic wrapping in a frenzy, too eager to open the shrine that was hidden within a thin sheet of cardboard. On first looks the cover was pretty bland for a RM145 book, but I thought to myself, "Well, maybe there will be loads of colour pictures inside!" Shrugging off my doubts, I touched the smooth glossy cover and my fingers ran down the bottom portion of the cover. With a flick of my wrist, the glossy cardboard-like cover flew open... What the hell??!!? My economics teacher lied to me!!! I also got a physics reference book by Hutchings for my own personal needs and it fared better than my experience with that horrible economics textbook. I love glossy textbooks.

Jin Han 5:53 PM

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Since I found out I did not have enough jeans to go around, I just had to pop over to Topman to grab some, mainly because that was the only shop that had a wider variety of sizes given my shortcomings in height. Basically they are the only retailers that have pants that actually fit - not too long and not too short. Of course this came at a really painful 150 ringgit price tag. Also got a new shirt for Chinese New Year, a rather colorful streak of pink, red and white with flowery patterns inside the collar and cuffs. Pretty cute if you ask me. Also went to Popular bookstore in Ikano and came back with 5 folders, a stack of a4 paper and a stack of narrow line full scap paper. Stationery shopping never felt this good, and never this heavy as well. Will update later, not feeling up to blogging right now...

Jin Han 11:58 PM

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

"A mighty pain to love it is, and 'tis a pain that pain to miss; but of all the pains, the greatest pain is to love, but love in vain." -Abraham Crowley I feel this quote is really appropriate for those who have been burned by the fires of love. After a One Tree Hill season 2 marathon in three days somehow it succeeded in captivating me. I was drawn in by the strong themes of betrayal and lies, of how we lie to others, of how we lie to ourselves. It's funny how fictional tales become most effective at drawing out the truths of human nature and how we define ourselves. I guess this might seem a little crazy considering I am writing this at 3.30am but I was completely taken aback by some of the actions of the characters in the said show. It is of course correct to say that it is just a television show, nothing more, but what are television shows based on? Probably ideas come up by the producers to rake in more ratings, and where do they get those ideas? You should get what I mean from there. What's more strange is the realisation that one cannot help but see how true some of the dilemmas faced by those characters seem so real compared to life outside the television. We fall in love with people, we fall out of love moments later. In the end it is almost always infatuation that borders on obsession no matter how deep it goes. Even though we tell ourselves that the feelings we have never last and that we should just forget about it, we never listen. We display exasperating amounts of tenacity in keeping to our feelings and beliefs. For me, I don't want to change things. More to the point, I am afraid to change things. I am afraid to change what has faded a long time ago. I am afraid to lose what I never had in the first place. I feel a lot for someone and I really care about her, but evidently it is feckless, for affection is not enough for a love to grow from it. Love in vain indeed... What is the true point of this entry you ask? Well, actually it's all a bunch of crap I devised to keep myself entertained, yeah that is one way of putting it. To me I would think of it as a confession rather than a hallucination. I have clearly been lying to myself and to others as well. I have this preconceived notion that I am fine, I am normal, I am happy. The very use of these terms only validate the insecurities within myself, for I am not fine, I am not normal, I am not happy. You never see beyond the smiles of a person's face; you never hear beyond the laughter of a person's voice; and you never feel beyond the boundaries of a person's heart. When you hear a loved one's laugh, are they really amused? When you see a person smile, are they really happy? You never know, do you? It is only by the appearance and body language of a person that makes us assume the feelings of others. What is even more saddening is that we can never tell which is which. How do I know she is happy? How do I know she feels neglected? How do I know she needs someone to be there for her? How do we know we are loved? How do we know someone needs help?

Jin Han 3:36 AM

Monday, January 09, 2006

Well it's my first day of college, Taylor's College, and I woke up feeling excited with adrenaline pumping through my veins. My heart palpitated with rhythms that would put drummers to shame. Brushing my teeth with haste and gargling faithfully with my mouth cleansing Oral-B, I put on my attire for the day and headed off to college. I was ecstastic to say the least because there was this huge opportunity to meet new people, gain new experiences, acquire more knowledge about the world than I could have ever dreamed of. Plus I was going to get my student id, yay!! Anyway I arrived at around 8.15 and already there were tens of people squished into a narrow balcony, squirming around to find space to breathe. Making my way up the stairs to join the can of sardines, I thought to myself, "This was it. A chance to really branch out and become a different person". Checking the class roster for 2006/2007, I noticed that two people whom I know from CHS was in the same class as me. I was even more ecstastic because at least I would not be completely alone. I waited for 45 minutes before the doors to the hall opened and everyone went in in orderly fashion, or at least as orderly as a crowd could ever get. Two pieces of paper were shoved into my hands and I was ushered into the hall. I admired the beige painted walls of the hall and its lacquered wooden stage. What set it apart from our school hall was: 1. It is fully air-conditioned. 2. It has a really cool-looking balcony on the second level. 3. It has a second level. 4. There are chairs for the students to sit on. 5. The microphones actually work. 6. It has a projector. The orientation began with 30 minute speeches from 5 different people, each as "inspiring" as the next. Sadly my enthusiasm for college quickly changed into a notion that orientation days are both prosaic and pretty pointless, but what the hell, I am getting my student id soon!! We went to our respective classes at 12 to meet up with our mentor(basically a classier way of saying form teacher. This is college after all.) and got a schedule for the semester. Oh and I also got my student if after that!! Check it out! i know,they made an effort to make me look ugly XD my class schedule.packed indeed! We spent the rest of the orientation meeting the student council committee, but it was pretty boring, too insignificant to bring up. The rest of the day was spent watching One Tree Hill so well, that was it.

Jin Han 9:29 PM

Monday, January 02, 2006

Just got a Crumpler messenger bag from KLCC today. I am officially broke. spacious, isn't it? My badge of office LoL I just saw my sister off yesterday. She didn't want to leave and I guess I didn't want it either. The house is pretty much empty once again. College starts in about 6 days after today and I think I'm taking a school bus home LoL. I've hounded my parents to put me on a school bus or some form of public transportation for years since I was 10 and finally they cave when I'm 17 going on 18!! The irony of it all hehe. Apparently my grandparents are getting older and travelling long distances will definitely be taxing, and my dad probably doesn't want his driver taking me wherever I want, so might as well go with it I guess. I also plan to take a public bus or something at least 20 times before I start driving, just to experience the crampness of public transportation in Malaysia. LRT, done. Monorail, done. KTM er... Gotta wait a while for that. One step at a time. My new year's resolution: 1. Lose a few inches off my waist. 2. Lose a lot of inches off my thighs. 3. Gain more muscle and strength. 4. Improve my stamina drastically while sticking to a strict diet. 5. Study hard for A-levels and not be too focused on having fun. 6. Try my hardest not to go insane with self-inflicting pressure. 7. Hope that I won't feel disappointed with my SPM results (I feel I did horribly...) 8. Think of more new year's resolutions for 2007

Jin Han 7:04 PM

dislikes

Being apart from my sayang. Seeing animals get tortured. Seeing people get hurt. Losing what's important to me. Sluggish internet connections. Bittergourds and zombies.

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