| Tuesday, January 10, 2006 |
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"A mighty pain to love it is, and 'tis a pain that pain to miss; but of all the pains, the greatest pain is to love, but love in vain." -Abraham Crowley I feel this quote is really appropriate for those who have been burned by the fires of love. After a One Tree Hill season 2 marathon in three days somehow it succeeded in captivating me. I was drawn in by the strong themes of betrayal and lies, of how we lie to others, of how we lie to ourselves. It's funny how fictional tales become most effective at drawing out the truths of human nature and how we define ourselves. I guess this might seem a little crazy considering I am writing this at 3.30am but I was completely taken aback by some of the actions of the characters in the said show. It is of course correct to say that it is just a television show, nothing more, but what are television shows based on? Probably ideas come up by the producers to rake in more ratings, and where do they get those ideas? You should get what I mean from there. What's more strange is the realisation that one cannot help but see how true some of the dilemmas faced by those characters seem so real compared to life outside the television. We fall in love with people, we fall out of love moments later. In the end it is almost always infatuation that borders on obsession no matter how deep it goes. Even though we tell ourselves that the feelings we have never last and that we should just forget about it, we never listen. We display exasperating amounts of tenacity in keeping to our feelings and beliefs. For me, I don't want to change things. More to the point, I am afraid to change things. I am afraid to change what has faded a long time ago. I am afraid to lose what I never had in the first place. I feel a lot for someone and I really care about her, but evidently it is feckless, for affection is not enough for a love to grow from it. Love in vain indeed... What is the true point of this entry you ask? Well, actually it's all a bunch of crap I devised to keep myself entertained, yeah that is one way of putting it. To me I would think of it as a confession rather than a hallucination. I have clearly been lying to myself and to others as well. I have this preconceived notion that I am fine, I am normal, I am happy. The very use of these terms only validate the insecurities within myself, for I am not fine, I am not normal, I am not happy. You never see beyond the smiles of a person's face; you never hear beyond the laughter of a person's voice; and you never feel beyond the boundaries of a person's heart. When you hear a loved one's laugh, are they really amused? When you see a person smile, are they really happy? You never know, do you? It is only by the appearance and body language of a person that makes us assume the feelings of others. What is even more saddening is that we can never tell which is which. How do I know she is happy? How do I know she feels neglected? How do I know she needs someone to be there for her? How do we know we are loved? How do we know someone needs help? |
| Jin Han 3:36 AM |
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Jin loves brownies, cookies and cake. Jin has never been anywhere further than Australia. Jin could never stop being a sadistic, sarcastic meanie. Jin is also the opposite of everything said one line up when the need arises. Jin would rather have a desktop rather than a laptop. Jin has an obsessive, compulsive need to ramble, blabber and regurgitate all manner of nonsense. Jin hates being ignored by the people he loves. Jin hates being alone most of the time. Jin hates reflecting about his actions. It's taxing. Jin has a habit of thinking too much. Jin often doesn't see the glass as half-empty or half-full.He just sees the glass. To some, Jin is weird; to others, Jin is even weirder. Jin wants nothing more than to be happy. Rich would be a big plus though. Jin is pretty tired of referring himself in the third person's perspective. |
| dislikes |
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Being apart from my sayang. Seeing animals get tortured. Seeing people get hurt. Losing what's important to me. Sluggish internet connections. Bittergourds and zombies. |
| Links |
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Caleb Chongshen Darell Jac Kee Kathleen/Kelvin Krystle Li En Li Ying Mei Xin Nico Pin Pin Shu Ling Sze May Yan Chyi Zcui |
| Credits |
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