| Tuesday, August 09, 2005 |
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i've just noticed how afraid i am of approaching her...i kept telling myself that i should start talking to her again but i just froze...what was i going to say?how should i phrase my words...?everything just rushed through my mind and i just lost it...it's always fear...fear of more disaster,fear of getting hurt again,fear of losing everything...fear follows me throughout my life...too much of it and too little courage...if man is without their imperfections then my imperfection would be the curse of overthinking and overanalysing a situation...i have to look for the consequences or possibilities in every decision...sometimes it really sucks because things just will not work out the way i planned....sometimes i feel rather silly because of it but that is how God made me...there must be a purpose He has made me what i am for He always has a plan,whether for good or for bad,He still has a plan. anyway this week is the week to ask my friend out to the prom...but i was still contemplating about it...i mean i feel i'd rather go out with someone else but that doesn't seem possible...i guess i don't want to go with anyone else as dates because...i don't know...i just don't want to... in regards to her the most amazing thing happened...as you know i have been feeling very down with myself lately...but last week i just woke up and felt infinitely happier...more satisfied...feeling less apathy for myself...with that i really thank God for stretching out His hand to take me into his fold...really...that was the crucial moment when i truly felt God's presence....i guess He did have a plan after all...now i'm also devoting myself to loving Him...i really hope to go to church regularly if my mom allows but again...not sure if she'll be cool with it...gah...one step at a time i suppose... |
| Jin Han 10:42 PM |
| profile |
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Jin loves brownies, cookies and cake. Jin has never been anywhere further than Australia. Jin could never stop being a sadistic, sarcastic meanie. Jin is also the opposite of everything said one line up when the need arises. Jin would rather have a desktop rather than a laptop. Jin has an obsessive, compulsive need to ramble, blabber and regurgitate all manner of nonsense. Jin hates being ignored by the people he loves. Jin hates being alone most of the time. Jin hates reflecting about his actions. It's taxing. Jin has a habit of thinking too much. Jin often doesn't see the glass as half-empty or half-full.He just sees the glass. To some, Jin is weird; to others, Jin is even weirder. Jin wants nothing more than to be happy. Rich would be a big plus though. Jin is pretty tired of referring himself in the third person's perspective. |
| dislikes |
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Being apart from my sayang. Seeing animals get tortured. Seeing people get hurt. Losing what's important to me. Sluggish internet connections. Bittergourds and zombies. |
| Links |
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Caleb Chongshen Darell Jac Kee Kathleen/Kelvin Krystle Li En Li Ying Mei Xin Nico Pin Pin Shu Ling Sze May Yan Chyi Zcui |
| Credits |
| This layout was originally created by undyinglove-haha, later modified by Yours Truly. Other credits go to X X and X Works best on   |