| Sunday, July 24, 2005 |
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you know what?i just realised that we do really stupid things sometimes...we purposely make ourselves look better,dress ourselves up to look glamorous,put on fake smiles that we know we don't feel...all of which we do to impress people,make them feel envious,jealous or guilty etc...i am rather sure that we all do it regardless of who we are...human being are not perfect...they never are...but why do we do these things...?why do we put so much effort into other people's impression of us?i admit even i do it...i think i do it all the time...it's true that i go to the gym nowadays...but for what?on the surface i want to look good and have a healthy body,but is there an ulterior motive?a hidden agenda?i cannot help but think about my actions,my reasons for doing so...of course we put on different faces for the world to see,faces which we do not want,feelings which we do not feel...i still remember the poem once upon a time,about how a father is forced to resort to foresaking his sincerity for survival...it's quite sad sometimes and it really feels like the real world is not far off at all...hiding behind masks and disguises are sometimes a form of courtesy...to interact politely with a guest,avoid insulting people and so on...i'm not really talking about that...i'm talking about how we turn ourselves into someone we're not...how we try so hard to be part of the 'normal' crowd or the 'cool' crowd...it is like we have stripped all sense of love for ourselves to the point of defaming ourselves...why should we care so much about what people think?do we want acceptance so badly that we have to compromise ourselves to get it?if so,what are the ethics in that?i'm still wondering about myself...why i do the things i do...why i try to feel the things i feel...hmm..there is obviously too much thinking involved here so i guess i'll just stop here.... |
| Jin Han 1:17 AM |
| profile |
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Jin loves brownies, cookies and cake. Jin has never been anywhere further than Australia. Jin could never stop being a sadistic, sarcastic meanie. Jin is also the opposite of everything said one line up when the need arises. Jin would rather have a desktop rather than a laptop. Jin has an obsessive, compulsive need to ramble, blabber and regurgitate all manner of nonsense. Jin hates being ignored by the people he loves. Jin hates being alone most of the time. Jin hates reflecting about his actions. It's taxing. Jin has a habit of thinking too much. Jin often doesn't see the glass as half-empty or half-full.He just sees the glass. To some, Jin is weird; to others, Jin is even weirder. Jin wants nothing more than to be happy. Rich would be a big plus though. Jin is pretty tired of referring himself in the third person's perspective. |
| dislikes |
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Being apart from my sayang. Seeing animals get tortured. Seeing people get hurt. Losing what's important to me. Sluggish internet connections. Bittergourds and zombies. |
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