| Tuesday, June 21, 2005 |
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my sister's going to be coming back to Malaysia in 2-3 days' time...i should feel ecstatic and overly enthusiastic about it but somehow i am not...i guess i've gotten used to being alone so much that having my sister around would be...well...different...i'm sure it would be nice to have some conversation in the house more often...talking to people keeps my sanity in check and prevents breakdowns...what really is silly is that i have been going 2-3 months of no communication like her and it feels like decades and decades...every time i want to just type something into the message window her last few words before shutting me out popped into my head..."i don't want to chat with you.." that sentence reverberates through my skull time and time again,reminding me to respect her wishes...i know if i could grant her every wish i would but at this point everything is out of my hands...i know it is not what she wants but i pray for her every day for her happiness,for her to really reach a degree of love and appreciation for herself...in all the years i've known her she has never said anything good about herself to me at all...makes me feel really sad that she is sad and it really disappoints me that she thinks so lowly of herself...but then you'd be wondering,what would be the point of thinking about her and feeling so much for her when she doesn't know it?anything,even everything i do for her will be useless if she has no knowledge of it...but i just do it anyway...not because i want to,not because i have to,but because i genuinely feel it...but think about it...would you rather have an empty void within your heart compared to a heart full of devotion and heartbreak(sadly)?i know i would pick the latter...wouldn't you...? |
| Jin Han 11:34 PM |
| profile |
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Jin loves brownies, cookies and cake. Jin has never been anywhere further than Australia. Jin could never stop being a sadistic, sarcastic meanie. Jin is also the opposite of everything said one line up when the need arises. Jin would rather have a desktop rather than a laptop. Jin has an obsessive, compulsive need to ramble, blabber and regurgitate all manner of nonsense. Jin hates being ignored by the people he loves. Jin hates being alone most of the time. Jin hates reflecting about his actions. It's taxing. Jin has a habit of thinking too much. Jin often doesn't see the glass as half-empty or half-full.He just sees the glass. To some, Jin is weird; to others, Jin is even weirder. Jin wants nothing more than to be happy. Rich would be a big plus though. Jin is pretty tired of referring himself in the third person's perspective. |
| dislikes |
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Being apart from my sayang. Seeing animals get tortured. Seeing people get hurt. Losing what's important to me. Sluggish internet connections. Bittergourds and zombies. |
| Links |
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Caleb Chongshen Darell Jac Kee Kathleen/Kelvin Krystle Li En Li Ying Mei Xin Nico Pin Pin Shu Ling Sze May Yan Chyi Zcui |
| Credits |
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