| Tuesday, May 10, 2005 |
| today was not a bad day for exam...i knew how to do some of my biology but the essay question and that mitosis thing made me feel less confident about it...on the other hand,english essay was a blast...i actually could feel what i was writing for the first time in my life...the title was "the worst journey i ever had".i wrote about how my adolescence was plagued by an abusive father...of course i wrote the piece before..but i really felt the fear and could see the fire in his eyes...really scary stuff...anywayz..went to tuition later and also got a quick revision from the tuition teacher regarding physics...man he's a really good teacher...anywayz..played a bit of NBA Live 2005 and now i'm here blogging before going to bathe and reading my moral..i forgot i have quite a lot to cover today..yikes..>.<...i wonder who suggested that questions based on the textbook be part of the syllabus..damn ministry of education..oh well...nothing i can do about that...might as well just go with the flow i guess...also came to the realization that how i feel about her is only a reverie...something that i can never get..LoL...sometimes it really is funny because it stays true to the saying that man wants what he cannot have...even i apply to it XD...anywayz...i really hope to get over her soon...can't be doting on someone when they are not doting on you...i did not fathom that i would be so silly anyway...still acting like i'm 13 years old...kekekeke...sometimes it is dangerous for me to be left alone to my thoughts...they tend to wander and *poof*...out comes another image of her..and another...and another...and another...then flashbacks of the dreaded day start replaying...followed by more flashbacks...and more flashbacks...i did not know my memory actually stretched that far...but that seems to be the only memories i have...everything else seems vague and blurry...so great...i have nothing else but bitter memories..that is not a very good sign i gather...but people can never tell that my mien does not express how i really feel...so i'm inarticulant...i admit that...i am unable to express myself clearly...hmm...amazing how 4 years of history seem to playback in my mind at least once a week...no wonder i can remember it...!!i think i've lost myself here...might take a while before i regain my composure but i'm trying to pick myself up...weird how suddenly my blog is filled with reminders of her...oops my bad...it's a way of ranting i guess...since there's no one around me who wants to hear about my problems i might as well type away seamlessly into the computer on my blog...though everyone can see it i don't really mind...well that is provided people read my blog in the first place LoL...but one thing is certain,she is DEFINITELY not gonna be reading my blog anytime soon...hehe...if she did,she would really be mad at me or something...but our ties are almost completely severed,so i am pretty confident that she will not be reading this...i make too many assumptions though,but what to do...i do not want to bother her and cause her some amount of frustration or anything...i guess she was right in saying that there was no more hope in us being friends cause let's face it..as long as we're friends,my feelings will not completely diminish...but not interacting with her at all for over a month is not making any difference either...go figure...funny how things like this keep turning up...i would really like to think that it is only a case of infatuation,but does infatuation really last 4 years?i guess i'm kinda immature by asking those kind of questions but how far do we draw the line between puppy love or otherwise?are we deemed mature enough for love only by the age of 21?what makes an adult anyway?according to my biology teacher a mature person retains his/her composure and calm even in tense situations..but no human being on earth could take everything into his/her stride..there will most probably be a limit to how much they can tolerate...so..my real point here is...what exactly is mature love?there are so many articles on what love is but the only thing we know is love is a word and it binds every human being together...besides that,that's it...so...what actually makes love love?how do we know we're in love when we don't know what love is?kinda contradictive because we are determining something without understanding it...confusing isn't it...?> |
| Jin Han 6:38 PM |
| profile |
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Jin loves brownies, cookies and cake. Jin has never been anywhere further than Australia. Jin could never stop being a sadistic, sarcastic meanie. Jin is also the opposite of everything said one line up when the need arises. Jin would rather have a desktop rather than a laptop. Jin has an obsessive, compulsive need to ramble, blabber and regurgitate all manner of nonsense. Jin hates being ignored by the people he loves. Jin hates being alone most of the time. Jin hates reflecting about his actions. It's taxing. Jin has a habit of thinking too much. Jin often doesn't see the glass as half-empty or half-full.He just sees the glass. To some, Jin is weird; to others, Jin is even weirder. Jin wants nothing more than to be happy. Rich would be a big plus though. Jin is pretty tired of referring himself in the third person's perspective. |
| dislikes |
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Being apart from my sayang. Seeing animals get tortured. Seeing people get hurt. Losing what's important to me. Sluggish internet connections. Bittergourds and zombies. |
| Links |
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Caleb Chongshen Darell Jac Kee Kathleen/Kelvin Krystle Li En Li Ying Mei Xin Nico Pin Pin Shu Ling Sze May Yan Chyi Zcui |
| Credits |
| This layout was originally created by undyinglove-haha, later modified by Yours Truly. Other credits go to X X and X Works best on   |