| Monday, May 09, 2005 |
| didn't go to school again today..but i did wake up earlier...about 10.00am..so it wasn't bad..studied too..almost done with bab 2 of rangka ^^...then can proceed with form 4...actually i finished that liao but have to revise..better safe than sorry...anywayz...i really felt down today...suddenly the thought of her starts growing again and again...whenever i feel less preoccupied with my thoughts the image of her just rears its ugly head in my mind...i feel so much like bashing myself until i completely forget who she is and her part in my life...obviously i wasn't aware of how she's affected my life so much...i feel less content with myself and i'm really starting to feel my inferiority complex coming in...i used to think that she was almost perfect...that there was absolutely no flaws in her...i never bothered to think about her shortcomings...whether she had any is beyond me,but i guess i'll never find out...oh bloody hell i do miss talking to her...but i put myself on a restraining order and kept myself from interacting with her from then on...almost every day it kills me that i can no longer talk to her...guess you really don't know what you've got until you've lost it...and for me...i really lost it...even though i just lost one thing,i feel i lost everything...and nothing else seems to matter...the events that have transpired are indeed affecting me in a very significant manner...sighz...most of the time i think about the one mistake that i did to lead me to this position...i guess it really was kinda stupid...just when things were going so well then suddenly *poof*...all the hope is gone...it's like the story of Elijah and how he made his way to the desert under a broom tree,alone and disappointed...i guess that's how i feel now..alone and disappointed...maybe i'm not disappointed in God or anything...but probably upset with myself...i really messed up..and nothing i can do or say is gonna make up for it...funny...i would have thought that by now i would know how to deal with things and all,but turns out i'm still a beginner...oh how i am fortune's fool! |
| Jin Han 4:13 PM |
| profile |
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Jin loves brownies, cookies and cake. Jin has never been anywhere further than Australia. Jin could never stop being a sadistic, sarcastic meanie. Jin is also the opposite of everything said one line up when the need arises. Jin would rather have a desktop rather than a laptop. Jin has an obsessive, compulsive need to ramble, blabber and regurgitate all manner of nonsense. Jin hates being ignored by the people he loves. Jin hates being alone most of the time. Jin hates reflecting about his actions. It's taxing. Jin has a habit of thinking too much. Jin often doesn't see the glass as half-empty or half-full.He just sees the glass. To some, Jin is weird; to others, Jin is even weirder. Jin wants nothing more than to be happy. Rich would be a big plus though. Jin is pretty tired of referring himself in the third person's perspective. |
| dislikes |
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Being apart from my sayang. Seeing animals get tortured. Seeing people get hurt. Losing what's important to me. Sluggish internet connections. Bittergourds and zombies. |
| Links |
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Caleb Chongshen Darell Jac Kee Kathleen/Kelvin Krystle Li En Li Ying Mei Xin Nico Pin Pin Shu Ling Sze May Yan Chyi Zcui |
| Credits |
| This layout was originally created by undyinglove-haha, later modified by Yours Truly. Other credits go to X X and X Works best on   |